At the Ilikai Hotel

Most of you have seen the Ilikai Hotel in Waikiki. But have you ever entered it? If you have, you might have heard strange whispers and maybe even seen a ghost. Oh! There is nothing to be afraid of. This ghost is said to offer eternal love to whoever helps him. Would you like to know his story? Here it is.

Kameāloha was a romantic joung man. He was born and raised in his parents’ farm in Waiʻanae. One day, his old father asked him to go to Honolulu to buy some medication for his mother. He was reluctant to leave but took this trip as a chance to visit the big city he had heard about. What struck him most when he arrived were the gigantic buildings. He stared at each of them on the way to the pharmacy. As he passed by the Ilikai Hotel, he saw a beautiful young lady cleaning one of the rooms’ lanai. This was Ululani. She was a maid at the Ilikai Hotel. Amazed by her grace and beauty, Kameāloha fell instantly in love with her. He entered the hotel and looked for her. But he quickly lost his way in this maze made of rooms and corridors. Ululani was nowhere to be found. As a boy, his grandmother had told him legends about city mermaids. Maybe they were real after all? Kameāloha remained in the hotel for days and weeks looking for Ululani in vain. No one ever saw him again.

This is why it is said that if you help the ghost from the Ilikai Hotel, he will offer you eternal love.

Cactus story

Gilbert was a young cactus who lived in the Koko Crater Botanical Garden. He admired his magnificent neighbors and wished he would have graceful arms and thick thorns like them. This way, he would become the highlight of the botanical garden. One day, the organ pipe cacti became worried. “Look at my bump!” said one of them. “Look at my dry skin!” moaned another one. And they died soon after. Gilbert had poisoned them. At least he thought so. It would take him some time but Gilbert knew he was the next cactus superstar.

Between the lines

Alapai and Manalani live on Kapahulu Avenue. Their parents were neighbors when they were kids. By the time they graduated they were the sweetest couple in the neighborhood. They are still hand in glove after 49 years of marriage.

They do fight sometimes about everything and nothing. What Alapai hates the most is when his wife expects him to read her mind. “Why can’t women simply ask something instead of expecting us to translate their strange behaviors?” he likes to say. After such a long married life, he is still not an expert in reading between the lines but he found ways to keep his wife happy.

Manalani has always dreamed of going to Venice one day. She really wants to go there with her husband for their 50^th wedding anniversary. This time she doesn’t want to be disappointed by her husband’s presents. She puts a mask of Venice on his pillow while he’s shaving in the bathroom. But Alapai never saw such a thing!

Later this day, while celebrating their anniversary in a fancy restaurant with a hundred of friends, Alapai kisses his wife and proudly tells her: “I got your message sweetheart. Here is my anniversary present for you: a face lift surgery!”

For a split second

There was a gentle breeze and the bird songs filled the air on this Tuesday afternoon. But for a split second everything suddenly came to a halt and fell silent. The world paused. Time stopped except for the mongooses that ruled the world. People might not have noticed this brief moment but the mongooses know: this was their apotheosis.

A special event

The 14^th Glitter Dolphin Contest will take place tomorrow in Waikiki around sunset. The contestants come from around the world to this once-a-year event here, in Hawai’i. We are very honored and pleased to have them all with us.

As many of you might remember, the Purple Glow-in-the-Dark Dolphin from Amazonia won the last year’s Slam competition and the Norwegian Diamond-Forever Dolphin finished first at the Moonlight Serenade whistling contest. Who will be winning this year’s fierce competition for Best Nose Painting and Best Sea Urchin Imitator?

To learn more about this amazing event, come to Waikiki Beach tomorrow at sunset and look for glitters and splashes!

 

 The key

- Ailani, come here! Ailani!

- I’m coming… I’m coming…

- Ailani, how many times have I told you? Keep your socks together when you put them in the washing machine!

- Moooom…

- Do you know what happens to lonely socks? Ailani, are you listening to me?

- Mooom… You told me this story a million times…

- Well, it seems you forgot it again. Let me refresh your memory.

- Mooom….

- The legend says that when a sock looses its better half it becomes sad and so angry at its owner that it sneaks into his bed and suffocates him while he’s sleeping. That’s the revenge of the lonely sock. Do you actually know what this means?

- Yes… It means that the Menehune are mad at me and that they’re playing tricks on me.

- And do you want the Menehune to be mad at you? Do you?! Do you remember what happened to Auntie Leilani after she lost her glasses?

- …

- So what can you do to avoid the Menehune to be mad at you?

- I will keep my socks together...

- Good! Do you understand? Will you keep your socks together from now on?

- Yes mom…

- Oh Ailani… Why can’t you be just like me? Why can’t you keep your things organized? Why can’t you remember where you put your things?

- Moooom…

- Anyway, I am going shopping. While I’m away, I would like you to find the cell phone you lost last week, the book I was reading, which disappeared yesterday, your sister’s puppet and your dad’s missing screwdriver. If you can find everything before I come home, I’ll stop bothering you. Am I clear?

- Yes mom…

- Good. I’m leaving now. See you in half an hour. Where is my key? Where did I put my key? Ailani, have you seen my key?

- …

 

A muggy life

 

As far as she could remember, Aolani had always suffered from asthma. On muggy days she was barely able to climb the stairs to her room. When she was a kid her parents never let her go out to play with her friends. They would always tell her: “You’d better stay home. You don’t want to have an asthma attack.” Because of her health problem, Aolani was not popular at school. Sports were what she hated the most and being chosen last as a team member was her nightmare. For a few years now, she had been dating her neighbor. Their relationship was deteriorating as weeks were passing by. He was becoming more and more jealous and was suffocating her.

Not surprisingly, when Aolani graduated from high school she felt free and eager to start a new chapter in her life. She left her school, her neighborhood, her parents and her boyfriend. She was looking forward to college. But when she moved into her new apartment on the windward side of Oʻahu, she had the strange feeling that her past would catch up with her sooner or later.

Spring break

Jessica loved her dog even more than herself. Back in L.A., she did everything with Pooky. She trusted him more than any man she had ever met. And she had met quite a few.

Earlier this year, she had given up all hope of finding Mr. Right. That was before Spring Break and before she met Kawika on Kaimana Beach. This handsome lifeguard was known as “the most efficient brainwasher in Waikiki”. And indeed, he made her forget everything. Even Pooky.

The lost mind

One hot summer morning, Keoni woke up and felt like a new man. He had four eggs sunny side up, six slices of bacon, three spam musubi and two large cups of coffee. He went to the bedroom, gave his wife a kiss and told her:

- Lahela, stay in bed, it is still early in the morning. I am going fishing on my lunch wagon. I will bring you a humpback whale for dinner.

Still sleepy, Lahela nodded with a smile. Keoni kissed the couch goodnight, petted his grandmother’s rocking chair and wished a happy birthday to the gecko on the doormat. He left his house smiling. He had never been so happy.

Later this day, Lahela woke up and remembered her husband’s strange words. Her worries grew when she found this note on the fridge: “I froze my friend’s frog. It’s frying in the freezer. Signed: Your cotton candy”. Lahela was used to her husband’s surprises but this time, he went too far. Something was wrong with him. She looked around her, emptied the kitchen’s cabinets, moved the furniture in the living room and cleared the mess on the office desk. When the neighbor knocked on the door later this afternoon, Lahela was frantically looking for something. The entire house was upside down and so were the sofa cushions.

- Aloha Lahela, said the neighbor. What’s happening in here? Are you looking for something?

- Hello neighbor, answered Lahela. Yes, I am looking for something.

- Well, said the neighbor, let me help you. What did you loose?

- Oh! I didn’t loose anything. My husband did. He lost his mind this morning.